Before You Tie The Knot….

Before You Tie The Knot” is an engaged Couples retreat or for those just recently married.

Topics include:
Relationships,
Finances,
Home,
Housekeeping/Chores
Children/Parenting.
Faciliated by Rev. Angela Butts-Chester of Blessings All Around http://www.blessingsallaround.com

$1500 for the weekend per couple,
$300 deposit (both are non refundable)

Hurry! We are only accepting 20 couples for this event! To register, go to www.lexusevents.biz click on events and download the registration form

7 reasons to participate in Marriage Preparation

Originally posted at
The Marriage Academy of NY
http://marriageacademy.blogspot.com/

More and more engaged couples are participating in marriage preparation. Whether it’s with a religious leader or a secular counselor, it’s important to plan for the most important relationship of your life. So much time and energy is spent on planning weddings. I do believe that a wedding marks an important rite of passage and should be recognized and celebrated. However, the time spent planning the marriage should be considered more important.

With a divorce rate of almost 50% it is important, now more than ever, to take a proactive approach to marriage. Here are just a few of the benefits of marriage preparation.

1. You can take the time to focus on you, your partner & your relationship.

2. Highlight your strengths as a couple and plan for any potential areas of conflict.

3. There’s someone to guide the conversations who is a relationship expert and serves as an objective 3rd party.

4. Address common fears associated with giving up the independence and autonomy of single life.

5. Marriage Preparation is especially helpful for adult children of single or divorced parents.

6. Avoid repeating mistakes of previous marriage attempts (if this is your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th marriage).

7. Learn communication and conflict resolution skills that will be useful in times of stress.
Remember, NO couple gets married with the intention of ending in divorce. Participating in marriage preparation can reduce your odds of divorce by 30%. Marriage preparation is not a sign that your relationship is in trouble, but that you value it (and your partner) enough to invest in your shared future.

Love: It’s Not Just a Feeling…It’s Also a Verb

From Natasha Crawford
The Marriage Acadamy
http://www.natashacrawford.com/
he following is an article from the June newsletter
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I love you.

It’s one of the most meaningful and vague sentences in American culture. When it comes to your marriage, you promise to love “’til death do us part.” Notice that in the previous sentence, love is a verb. This has nothing to do with that warm, fuzzy feeling you get. It has everything to do with what you do. Each partner in a marriage has to take responsibility for adding love into the relationship. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always.

There are many small ways you can act lovingly towards your spouse. Here are just a few to get you started:- Give a compliment (on a new outfit, his smile, her intelligence, being a good parent, etc.)- Take out the trash- Cook his/her favorite meal- Buy a slice of his/her favorite dessert- Give a massage (without the expectation of sex to follow, but if it does – BONUS!)- Take a walk or go to the gym together- Send a love letter/email/text messageYou’ll notice that none of these require lots of time or money. Most acts of love are like that. It really is the small things that matter (I know it’s cliché, but it’s true). Be creative. Don’t be afraid to think out the box.

As the receiver of love please, please, please, make it easy for your partner. Tell her what works for you. If she’s constantly buying you jewelry and all you really want is a foot massage after a long day at work, she’s wasting money and you’re not getting your needs met. No one wins. Ask for what you want. She is not a mind reader. And none of that “hinting” either. Be clear. Be honest. Be specific.

A successful marriage, like a well-run car, requires maintenance. Find out the type of “maintenance” your partner requires and be diligent in expressing love for him/her in that way. The return on your investment will be well worth it. Try asking this question – Honey, other than sex, which ways would you prefer I express my love for you? Take note of the answers. Then do it!

For more thoughts on how to infuse acts of love into your relationship, check out The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.. If you don’t have time, I’ll be reviewing it in the next newsletter.

*My use of any particular pronoun is solely due to my annoyance with “he/she” and “his/her”